...just the occasional, usually ill-considered thoughts of a Roman Catholic permanent deacon who is ever grateful to God for his existence. Yes, despite the strangeness we encounter in this life, all the suffering we witness and endure, being is good, so good that I am sometimes barely able to contain my joy. Deo gratias!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Christian Tattoo: Age 1,300 Years

If you're among the select few who follow this ill-organized blog, you'll know that I am intrigued by things archaeological. I haven't touched on the subject recently, but today I came across a story that certainly caught my attention. 



In 2005 archaeologists involved in a dig in Sudan unearthed the extraordinarily well-preserved mummified remains of a young woman, aged 20 to 35. The body (pictured above) had been wrapped in linen and wool and was mummified by the hot, dry environment in which it had been buried. The remains have subsequently been dated to approximately 700 A.D. 

Interestingly the scientists found a tattoo on the inside of the woman's right thigh. This tattoo (see photo below) is a monogram that includes Greek letters spelling out the name of the Archangel Michael. A Fordham University theologian, Maureen Tilley, has suggested that the tattoo is religiously significant and relates to childbearing. According to Dr. Tilley:
“Christian women who were pregnant often placed amulets with divine or angelic names on bands on their abdomens to insure a safe delivery of their child. Placing the name on the inner thigh, as with this mummy, may have had some meaning for the hopes of childbirth or protection against sexual violation, as in, ‘This body is claimed and protected.’”


The mummy, along with a number of others unearthed in the same dig, will be on display at the British Museum in London. If you want to read more about the mummy, see the article on The Telegraph website, and be sure to watch the brief video. It's all very interesting, and makes one wonder what future archaeologists will make of all the tattoos they will surely find on any mummified remains of today's population. 

Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday Morning Thoughts

Putin and his foes. The ongoing drama playing out among the world's political leaders has enrolled even the least astute of observers in a graduate course in non-leadership. On one side we have President Obama, alleged leader of the world's most powerful and successful nation. He is loosely joined by a feckless collection of Western European politicians whom we are assured the President is leading from behind. Opposed to this worthy coalition is one Vladimir Vladimirovitch Putin, the President of Russia.

Putin has branded himself as a kind of superman, the Russian he-man, a blended reincarnation of Stalin and Ivan the Terrible with a feminine side inherited from Catherine the Great. He projects the image of the savior intent on returning the expansive nation to its former greatness. In this, however, he has given his countrymen a false hope, since the nation they envision had never really been able to achieve true greatness, but for centuries always teetered on the edge of collapse. And collapse it did, several times during just the last century.

But this doesn't mean Putin and the new Russia are no threat. While our nation adopts foolish policies that undermine our relationships with our most reliable allies and appease those who would destroy us, Putin courts emerging superpower Communist China and strengthens Russian ties with Iran, the world's leading sponsor of terror. While the West stumbles along in its hapless efforts to convince Iran to stop its ongoing development of nuclear weapons, who do you think is providing them with nuclear reactors? (Hint: his middle name is Vladimirovitch.) As the United States disengages itself from the Middle East, guess who will fill the resulting vacuum? (Hint: Who pulled the rug out from under President Obama and took charge of the "Syrian problem"?) And which maritime nation is today decimating its naval forces (Hint: it's initials are USA), while Russia and China undertake huge expansions of their blue-water navies? Guess which leader seems to have a better grasp of the intricacies of the global chessboard? (No hint necessary.)
Russian warship in the Bosporus en route to Syria

He might be an astute manipulator of power politics, but in reality Putin is little more than a clever thug, a former KGB apparatchik, who like those he once served believes power is best applied through the barrel of a gun. Economically today's Russia is a corruption-riddled basket case, and it's military, while certainly not insignificant in numbers, is also not especially well-equipped. Despite this, Putin realizes he has little to fear from our president and our erstwhile NATO allies. Like Hitler occupying the Rhineland or Austria, Putin sent his troops virtually unopposed into Crimea and then formally annexed the region. We may scold him on the world stage, wagging our finger and wringing our hands, but the fact is Crimea is once again a part of the Russian homeland. This morning I read that the Russians even set the Crimean clocks to Moscow time. For Russia the consequences of this illegal aggression have been horrendous: several of Putin's closest friends can no longer spend long weekends in Vegas or use their Visa cards, and the USA has sent vast amounts of military aid to the threatened Ukranians in the form of MREs; i.e., Meals Ready to Eat.
Russian Troops in Crimea
Will President Obama and his sometime allies actually respond in any effective way? Unlikely. Sadly this global drama is quite unlike those Tolkien-like or Reaganesque battles between good and evil that so inflame the hearts of free men. It's really more of a schoolyard confrontation in which a collection of nerds appeases the school bully by turning over their lunch money. By doing so they incorrectly assume he's been bought off and will forever leave them alone. Of course he won't. He'll be back...and next time he might bring some friends.

Nancy Pelosi Receives Award Named for a Racist. U.S. Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is a remarkable woman. The former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, she was the driving force in the enactment of Obamacare (the so-called Affordable Care Act). To this end she masterfully convinced her Democrat colleagues in the House to vote for this huge, and hugely flawed, piece of legislation even though few of them knew what was in it. How can we ever forget her forceful, convincing argument which concluded with the statement: "We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it..."?
Pelosi with Dr. Ruth, HHS Secretary Sebelius, and Planned Parenthood President Richards

Ms. Pelosi also claims to be a faithful Catholic although she openly rejects many of her Church's teachings. Indeed, one gets the impression that she wishes she were pope so she could bring the Church into alignment with the prevailing zeitgeist. Alas, that dream of hers will remain unfulfilled, and so she must be content with instructing the bishops to join her in virtual apostasy. Sadly for her, that effort too is doomed to failure.

Margaret Sanger
She remains, however, undeterred. Indeed, her latest claim to fame is an award she has received from Planned Parenthood, the nation's number one baby killer. And this isn't just any award. It's the Margaret Sanger Award. Now, for those who might not know it, Margaret Sanger (1879-1966) founded Planned Parenthood in 1921. She was also a racist who believed in the elimination of undesirable racial minorities, or "human weeds", as she called them. It's no accident that the vast majority of Planned Parenthood clinics are located in inner city, minority neighborhoods. This is exactly what Margaret Sanger planned. As a result, the greatest cause of death among African Americans today is abortion.

Sanger was an especially clever racist, though, and even planned to co-opt leaders of the black community to join her in her genocidal efforts. In a 1922 article she wrote:
"We should hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds, and with engaging personalities.  The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We don’t want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population, and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members."
Sanger's efforts weren't restricted to contraception and abortion. As she once said, "The most merciful thing that the large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it." Nice. And trust me, she wasn't talking about a family of white Episcopalians from Connecticut.

Lloyd Marcus, author of the fascinating book, Confessions of a Black Conservative, wrote the following in an American Thinker essay: 
"Colored people are like human weeds and are to be exterminated." So said Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood. Seventy-eight percent of Planned Parenthood clinics are in black neighborhoods. Blacks make up only 12% of the population, but 35% of America’s aborted babies are black. Half of black pregnancies end in abortion. Is this an intentional genocide?
'The most dangerous place for an African-American is in the womb," according to Pastor Clenard Childress, Jr. Blacks are the only minority in America experiencing a declining population.
So why would Obama, the NAACP, Rev. Sharpton, and other black leftists be passionate supporters of Planned Parenthood? Why did Al Sharpton threaten to protest a pro-life billboard which exposed the devastatingly high number of black abortions?
Good questions. Why do the Democrats consistently support abortion, and even infanticide, which have led to the deaths of so many minority babies?

And I'll add a few questions of my own. Isn't it interesting that Nancy Pelosi, the Minority Leader of the House Democrats, should receive an award that honors such a woman as Sanger? Why has no one in the mainstream media asked the former speaker if her beliefs mirror those of Sanger's? For that matter, why does the Democrat Party oppose charter schools and school choice which have done so much to improve the quality of the education received by minority children? Do you think there might be a connection? Interesting questions that deserve answers.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Homily: Solemnity of St. Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary

March 19

Readings: 2 Sm 7:4-5,12-14,16; Ps 89; Rm 4:13,16-18,22; Mt 1-16,18-21

St. Joseph, whom we honor today, is one of those great figures whom we often overlook. From the Gospel story of the conception, birth and childhood of Jesus, there emerges this quiet, modest figure, the perfect model for fathers today.

Just consider the sort of man he must have been. God the Father, out of all the men who ever lived, chose one, Joseph, to be the guardian, the teacher, the guide of His only Son, Jesus. He also chose Joseph to love and protect Mary, the virgin Mother of the Son of God. Yes, Joseph must have been a very special man indeed.

Take some time today and read those first two chapters of Matthew’s Gospel, to remind yourself of the kind of man Joseph was. There we see a courageous man of honor who wants to protect Mary’s reputation. Why? Because he’s a righteous man and this is what God would want.

We see a man who takes Mary as his wife even though the child she bears is not his. Why? Because God told him to take the Child and His Mother to himself. And so Joseph obeys.

We see a man protects his young family by leading them into exile, into an unknown future. Why? Because God told him to. Joseph doesn’t wait to think it over. No, he leaves immediately in obedience to God’s command. He “rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt” [Mt 2:14]

What a mystery for us to ponder! That God, in order to protect His Son, the uncreated Word of God, should choose to do so through the mediation of a humble carpenter. It’s all a piece of the greater mystery of the Incarnation, in which Father and Holy Spirit now relate to the Son not only as Divine Word but also as incarnate Man.

Matthew glosses over the flight to Egypt in a few words, but the reality would have been a nightmare. Traveling by night, hiding by day, the Holy Family would have required perhaps three or four weeks to travel the 300 miles through an inhospitable desert from Jerusalem to Alexandria. Once in Egypt, as homeless refugees, the family would rely solely on Joseph to earn a living during their years of exile.

Just when Joseph had probably established himself as a carpenter in this foreign land, God tells him to return to Israel, and once again he obeys. The murderous Herod was dead, but in Judea and Samaria, his son, Archelaus ruled, and Joseph rightly feared him, since Archelaus began his rule by slaughtering 3,000 of Judea’s most influential citizens. And so Joseph, again obedient to God, guides Mary and Jesus far to the north, to the safety of a small town nestled in the hills of Galilee, to Nazareth. It is, therefore, through the obedience of Joseph that the prophecies are fulfilled. “Out of Egypt I called my Son” [Hos 1:1]. And “He shall be called a Nazorean” [Mt 2:23; Is 11:1]

God doesn’t reveal everything to Joseph at once. Instead, Joseph remains continually dependent on God’s next word. For Joseph, the just man, is nevertheless fully human, and like all of us he must learn to grow in God’s love and grace. He must experience, as we all must, the trial of faithfulness, the trial of perseverance in seeking out the Will of God in our lives. And so Joseph waits patiently for God to speak, just as God waits patiently for Joseph to grow in fidelity to His Will.

It’s in the home of Joseph and Mary, that Jesus grows to maturity. It’s here that Joseph, according to Jewish custom, teaches Jesus to recite his prayers, to sing the age old Psalms of David, and to read from the Torah, the Law of Moses. It’s from Joseph that Jesus learns to appreciate, first hand, the importance of following the laws and customs of His people. It’s from Joseph the carpenter that Jesus comes to recognize the value and dignity of work.

It’s here, where Jesus encounters daily a man who is happy in being poor in spirit, happy in being meek, happy in being just and merciful, happy in being pure of heart, in being singlehearted. Later, when Jesus begins His public ministry, he will often speak of God the Father as “Abba” or Daddy. And it was from the loving and caring Joseph that Jesus first learned what a daddy was.

At the heart of Joseph’s sanctity is his unquestioning obedience to accept the Will of God in his life…and to act on it. And because he obeys, God comes to him again and again. God walks in Joseph’s soul just as He walked with Adam in the Garden. Is it any wonder that He entrusts to Joseph what is most precious to Him?

We owe honor to Joseph, and honored indeed would Joseph be if fathers today would accept him as their model. And mothers would turn to him, asking for his fatherly intercession in the lives of their children.

St. Joseph, pray for us.


Homily: 2nd Sunday of Lent

Readings: Gen 12:1-4; Ps ; 2 Tim 1:8-10; Mt 17:1-9

Time is a very strange commodity. As St. Augustine said, “Time takes no holiday.” It’s probably the most defining aspect of our lives and yet we really have no impact on it. Indeed, our personal view of time means little. We can see ourselves moving through time or we can see time as a relentless force moving through our lives. It really makes no difference.

Time simply marches on, turning an imagined future into an instantaneous present and making the past no longer real. Because it is gone, the past really exists only in our minds, in our memories. Our lives are littered with memories, memories of events that in so many ways define who we are.

I once had an experience that had the effect of compressing time, moving me toward the past or moving the past toward me. It was in 1957 and my eighth grade teacher, Sister Francis Jane, a wonderful Dominican nun, had invited an elderly gentleman to speak to our class.

He was in his nineties, and had been born at the start of the Civil War. And he told us some wonderful  stories, stories about life in 19th century America, that held me spellbound. Even Sister Francis Jane, whom I'd always assumed was present at the Creation, seemed captivated.

He told us of his great-grandfather who had fled Paris during the French Revolution and eventually made his way to the United States. He told us of his grandfather, born in the year 1800, who as a youth was apprenticed to a Philadelphia cabinetmaker. At this point he told us something that completely overwhelmed me.

As a young man his grandfather had known Thomas Jefferson, had actually visited Jefferson at his home in Monticello, and done work for him. He went on to repeat the stories his grandfather had told him of Jefferson and his unique home.

Now as a child I always thought of Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and the other founding fathers as sort of mythical figures lost in the fog of a distant past, from another time disconnected from my own. And yet, here I was in the presence of someone whose grandfather had known one of these men. And the man speaking to me had known his grandfather. Quite suddenly I realized that Thomas Jefferson and I were separated by only two other people.

This strange revelation changed me permanently. I felt as if I’d been suddenly thrust into the history of my country, and present at its very beginnings.

Now you can take that experience and multiply it a thousand-fold and perhaps, just perhaps, you might approximate what Peter, James and John experienced when they witnessed Jesus' Transfiguration in today's Gospel. To understand what this must have meant to them, and what it should mean to us, let’s set the stage.

Up until now, the Apostles’ understanding of Jesus and His mission was incomplete and confused. Amazed by His miraculous works, they couldn't understand why He didn't use this power to set things right in the world. Indeed, He seemed almost oblivious to the severe political realities faced by the Jewish people under Roman rule. Instead, he focused His attention on individuals, especially the poor and those in need of spiritual, physical, and mental healing.

Jesus baffled even the Apostles. Just days before, an inspired Peter had proclaimed Jesus to be "the Christ, the Son of the Living God" [Mt 16:16]. And yet the Apostles couldn't grasp why Jesus wasn’t more Messiah-like. Yes, they wanted a Messiah, but their version, not God's.

Then, about a week earlier, Jesus had shocked them by predicting His impending death. This incensed Peter, who went so far as to scold Jesus for even mentioning such a possibility. But Jesus rebuked him, telling him he was seeing things from a purely human point of view [Mt 16:21-23].

Peter, you see, was afraid. Powerful men were plotting Jesus' death, and Jesus seemed to be playing right into their hands. Peter’s myopic human vision blinded him to the eternal realities of God's plan. He and the disciples needed God to open their eyes and show them the Father's abiding presence with their Master.

They needed a vision from God's point of view, not man's, to see that in spite of the death sentence hanging over Jesus, God was still with Him, that God is always in complete control and would see to it that Jesus ultimately triumphed. What Peter, James and John needed was to be present at the Transfiguration, to have their eyes opened, to see their Master bathed in the glory of the Divine Presence.

And so they encounter Moses and Elijah, the great lawgiver and the great prophet. Time is compressed. The past is brought forward and made real again. I might have figuratively touched history in my eighth grade classroom, but the Apostles came face to face with God's eternal plan, a plan spread before them over the tapestry of time.

In a few moments Father will pray these words that begin today’s Eucharistic Prayer: "…he manifested to them his glory, to show, even by the testimony of the law and the prophets, that the Passion leads to the glory of the Resurrection."

This Transfiguration, this manifestation of divine glory, was meant to strengthen the Apostles. When afterwards Jesus told them not to fear, He was referring not to the fear of God they exhibited on the mountaintop, but to their fear of man and the evil of which he is capable. They would need reassurance as they accompanied Jesus on His journey to the Resurrection, a journey that passed first through Calvary.

The Transfiguration planted a seed of hope, the hope St. Paul referred to in today's 2nd reading when he reminded us that Jesus "abolished death and brought life and immortality to light" [2 Tim 1:10]. God allows the Apostles to see this light in the glorified Jesus so that later, when they see Him reduced to nothing during His passion, they might remember this extraordinary event and cling, if only precariously, to the promise it offered.

In the same way, today, the Church asks us to pause during our Lenten journey and reflect on its goal: Christ's glorious Resurrection on Easter. For just as the Transfiguration foreshadows Christ's Resurrection, so Christ's Resurrection foreshadows our own. Our Lord's divine nature, revealed to the Apostles on the mountaintop, is now our gift, so that our human nature can be raised up, glorified, and changed completely by His holiness.

The beautiful reality of our Christian life is that we share increasingly in Christ's glory until, one day, we see Him face to face, an eternal day when time itself will be extinguished. We are Christ's Body, the Church, men and women who live in the world, and our mission, the mission of the Church, is to transform that world through Faith, through Love, and by demonstrating our Hope in the eternal life that is God Himself.

But before we can fulfill our mission to transform the world, we must allow God to transform us, to undergo our own transfiguration.

This Lent let God remove all fear and doubt and strengthen us to face with courage the challenges, trials, sufferings, and, yes, the death, we must pass through before we can share in the divine glory.

This Lent see how our savior is transfigured before our eyes in the forms of bread and wine. Accept God's loving presence with us at Communion.

This Lent approach the Eucharist, reconciliation, and all of the good things of God, not as obligations, but as invitations to share in the gift of His love and a life that will never end.

When Pope Paul VI was dying on the feast of the Transfiguration, his final prayer, repeated again and again, was the opening phrase of the Our Father: Our Father, Who art in heaven. This Pope, who loved the Church so much, knew the final grace in his life would come from the Father Whose voice was heard on the Mount of Transfiguration: “This is My Son, My chosen one" [Mt 17:5].

This Lent, may we come to understand more deeply the Fatherhood of God and imitate more closely Him Who makes the Son, His Son, shine on all alike.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Lenten Mission: The Gifts of the Holy Spirit

Last Saturday evening we received word that Fr. Richard McAlear, the priest who was scheduled to conduct our Lenten Mission had taken ill and would not be able to come to our parish. Our pastor asked two of our deacons to "fill in " for this remarkable charismatic priest. Deacon Claude Curtin and I did so (I with much trepidation) and conducted two sessions: mine on Tuesday evening and Deacon Claude's on Wednesday morning. I have posted my talks below:
________________________

Introductory Remarks & Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Deacon Dana McCarthy, one of the deacons blessed to be assigned here to St. Vincent de Paul Parish.

As I believe you all know by now, Fr. McAlear, our mission priest, was taken seriously ill and cannot be here for this Lenten Mission. And so I ask you to keep him in your prayers, that through the healing power of the Holy Spirit he may have a speedy recovery and return to full service in the Lord’s vineyard. Amen.

This past weekend, our pastor, Fr. Peter, in a very weak moment, asked me to “fill in” this evening…so to speak. Being asked to fill in for someone else is always a challenge, especially at the last minute, and especially when that someone else is a special someone like Fr. McAlear…

One of the first questions people ask is: What’s this substitute preacher going to talk about? Will he speak on the same topic or will he choose another? In this instance, I thought it best not to change topics; and so this evening I will speak on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. After all, that’s why many of you are here. I can only hope that by not changing topics, you won’t be short-changed…at least too much.

That, of course, leads to the second question: Will this substitute preacher be as good? And to that question I can safely answer, “No!” I am no expert on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. I’m just a deacon in service to our God and His people, and like each of you I’m struggling on this remarkable journey of being, constantly asking God for forgiveness and hoping for His mercy.

And so you’re stuck with me. And you can send all criticism and complaints directly to the pastor, since he’s the one who asked me. Fortunately, tomorrow morning you’ll be blessed to have Deacon Claude Curtin as your preacher, a man who has probably forgotten more about Christian spirituality than I ever knew.

I’ve divided this evening’s session into three talks, with each followed by a time of silent prayer in the presence of our Lord. And so in a moment we will expose the Blessed Sacrament so Jesus will be with us in His Real Presence throughout the evening. Then, at the end of our time together, we’ll conclude with Benediction.

But right now, since two or more are gathered here, we know that Jesus is present, and wherever Jesus is, so too is the Holy Spirit. And so, let’s pray:
Holy Spirit, be with us tonight. Let your breath of love, of wisdom, of understanding flow over us and into our hearts and minds as we contemplate your precious gifts. Deepen our faith and strengthen our love for you and for each other.

Spirit of God, evict from this holy place any spirit of evil, any spirit of hatred, all those spirits of malice, pettiness and selfishness, those spirits that try so hard to lead us away from You, the Holy Spirit, away from Jesus Christ, away from the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Amen.
[Exposition]


________________________

Talk 1: The Holy Spirit as Gift

Now before we address the many gifts of the Holy Spirit, let’s consider first the “gift” of the Holy Spirit – and by that I mean the Holy Spirit Himself as a gift.

Fifteen years ago, before he became Pope Benedict XVI, the then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, referring to the movement of the Holy Spirit within the Church after the Second Vatican Council, said:
“At the heart of a world imbued with a rationalistic skepticism, a new experience of the Holy Spirit suddenly burst forth. And, since then, that experience has assumed a breadth of a worldwide Renewal movement. What the New Testament tells us about the charisms - which were seen as visible signs of the coming of the Spirit - is not just ancient history, over and done with, for it is once again becoming extremely topical.”
He went on to say…
“Suddenly there was something nobody had planned on. The Holy Spirit had spoken up for himself again. In young people especially, the faith was surging up in its entirety, with no ifs and buts, with no excuses or way out, experienced as a favor and as a precious life-giving gift.”
…a life-giving gift…that’s what we’ll be talking and praying about tonight – God’s life-giving gift and the many gifts of the Holy Spirit. And what’s so remarkable is how lavish, how bountiful the Spirit is as He rains these gifts upon His Church.

My wife, Diane, and I have nine grandchildren, aged 12 and under. And believe me, they are truly interesting little people. With the approach of Christmas, or whenever one of them has a birthday coming up, most of these little ones tell us exactly what he or she wants as a gift. Now, they know about how much we’re willing to spend and so they’re remarkably astute in that they ask only for that which we can give. Often enough they even send me a link to the product on amazon.com.

This actually works out quite well for both grandchild and grandparents. The grandchild is certain of getting at least one gift that he actually wants. And because we got them the cool gift they wanted, we end up looking pretty good on Christmas morning or at the birthday party.

To tell you the truth, in making this little deal with our grandchildren, Diane and I are actually being quite God-like. Now before you accuse me of blasphemy, let me explain…

There’s a wonderful passage in Chapter 11 of Luke’s Gospel in which Jesus is teaching the disciples about prayer. He’s just finished teaching them the Lord’s Prayer, the Our Father, and many of us simply stop right there. After all, it’s the prayer that Jesus taught us. And so we learn it by heart. We teach it to our children. We pray those words together at every Mass. It begins each decade of the Rosary. It even offers us a foundation to much of our theology.

Yes, these are important words coming from Jesus Himself. But it’s equally important to realize that Jesus wasn’t finished. He continued by revealing more about prayer, more about the Trinity. Listen to the words of Our Lord, the passage that follows the Lord’s Prayer in Luke’s Gospel:
And he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend to whom he goes at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey and I have nothing to offer him,’ and he says in reply from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked and my children and I are already in bed. I cannot get up to give you anything.’ I tell you, if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.

“And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”
[Lk 11:5-13]
These are pretty wonderful words. Do you see what I mean? It’s a bit like us and our grandchildren. You see, in a sense, God wants to spoil us. God tells us to ask for what we want. And if we ask in faith, and with a heart that is right with God, a heart that conforms to God’s will, He will listen and we will receive. That’s what I meant when I said Diane and I were acting very God-like in our gift-giving. Of course, God’s gifts are far better than anything I can find on Amazon.

Now let’s look a bit more closely at parts of this passage.
“Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you...” [Lk 11:9]
Comforting words, aren’t they? But I think too many of us take those words and extract only what we want to hear. We place so much importance on the things of our lives, on the uniquely human activities and distractions that occupy so much of our time. And then, distracted by these “things,” we often misinterpret what Jesus is telling us about prayer. We seem to think that no matter how difficult our problems, how heavy our burdens, how confused our lives. . . like the unrelenting friend in the gospel parable, if we only pray real hard, and persist in that prayer, God will finally say, “Okay, okay,” and give us whatever we ask.

But that’s really not what Jesus is saying, is it? Because He doesn’t stop there, and continues with another brief parable, this time referring to that special human relationship between parent and child…or even between grandparent and grandchild.
“What father among you will give his son a snake if he asks for a fish, or hand him a scorpion if he asks for an egg?” [Lk 11:11-12]
And because we love our children, we all say, “I’d never do that!” And because God loves us even more, we’re sure He’ll certainly give us whatever we want. The trouble is, far too often, instead of asking for the fish or the egg, we ask instead for the snake and the scorpion. And then, dissatisfied with God’s response, we do act like children. We get angry with God. We throw our little tantrums and turn away from Him. After all, we asked, but we didn’t receive.

I actually had a woman approach me once after Mass, telling me she was very upset with God. When I asked her why, she said, “Well, I’ve prayed about this every day for several years now, and I’ve never won the lottery.”

Naturally, I thought she was joking, and so I laughed…aloud…very aloud. Well, that was a mistake. Before I could say anything else, she stormed off in a huff. I actually caught up with her a few weeks later and we talked about Jesus’ warning in Luke’s Gospel: “Take care to guard against all greed…” [Lk 12:15]

You see, at the very core of our prayer, we must always remember that Jesus tells us to pray to the Father, “Thy will be done” [Mt 6:10] For if the will of the child doesn’t conform to the will of the Father, the child, disregarding all personal desire, must repeat with Jesus in the Garden, “...not my will, but yours” [Lk 22:42].

Brothers and sisters, Jesus wants us to pray for everything good, for this is what our Father wants for us.
“If you, with all your sins, know how to give your children good things, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” [Lk 11:13]
Did you catch that? The gift of the Holy Spirit? Not the Holy Spirit’s gifts, but the gift of the Holy Spirit Himself. How often in prayer do you ask for the Holy Spirit?

Only God’s grace, given to us freely by the Holy Spirit, through the saving power of the Son, can save us from our sinfulness and raise us to new life in Him. And so, in prayer, as in all things, Jesus is our model. Although He is God, the second Person of the Trinity, He exercises His power only in dependence on the Father, through the working of the Holy Spirit.

Recall that striking miracle, the resurrection of the dead Lazarus, and how Jesus prayed aloud:
“Father, I thank you for having heard me. I know that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd, that they may believe that you sent me” [Jn 11:41-42].
It’s this all-powerful intercession that we rely on when we pray in Jesus’ name, when we conform our own prayer to His.

This, then, is the first key element of our prayer, that we conform everything to Jesus. Conform – to be in form with – to be together with. Another meaning – to commingle, to blend our lives with Jesus.

You see, what Jesus is really telling us is that our prayer must be an act of simple trust, the kind of trust you see in the face of a child who knows his parent will never harm him. And like that child, we often don’t know what’s good or bad for us. But God, the good parent, tells us, “Trust me. You’ll thank me for it later.”

A spiritual director once told me, “God has only three answers to prayers of petition: Yes, not now, and I have something even better planned for you.” You and I can teach God nothing, but we can ask everything of Him, entrusting to Him the judgment of our real needs. Indeed, it’s our duty to ask, to pray: for we are His children, we should want to receive everything from His hand.

But we should ask, seek and knock so that we may discover God’s will for us, and then ask for the courage and strength to do it. Certainly, we can always ask God for specific things, but more important is to enter into His presence in silence and solitude of heart – to let Him enter into our hearts.

Indeed, Jesus demands this of us. Again we turn to John’s Gospel where Jesus instructs the Apostles:
“Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing” [Jn 15:4-5].
And a moment later He adds:
“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you” [Jn 15:7].
Recall, too, what Paul told the Christians of Corinth:
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” [1 Cor 6:19]
That’s right. You and I really own nothing, not even our own bodies. We belong to our Creator. But not just that…as a temple of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit dwells in you, and wherever the Spirit is, so too is the Father and the Son. We cannot separate them, for they are one God, united in this Trinity of Love.

It’s important then to realize that God longs to dwell in the depths of your soul, at the very center of your being, a being created in His image. We can best reach Him when we grow in prayer, and grow in internal silence.

The purpose of Christian prayer is to enter here and now into a deeper and ever more real relationship with God. This is true Christian prayer: a movement of the spirit to where I am near Him, into His very presence. And so we shouldn’t think of prayer as some form of mental communication, like something out of a sci-fi movie. Rather, prayer is a joining of hearts, a sharing of love between Father and child.

Interior silence and the ability to love God in a kind of nakedness of spirit, a complete openness where we hide nothing from God – these, too, are gifts of the Holy Spirit. The Father sends forth His Spirit with these gifts, gifts promised to us by the revelation of His Son that “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him” [Mt 6:8].

This promise of the Lord Jesus is really the basis for a Christian’s trust and hope. It’s a promise we should always call to mind before we pray. If we have conformed ourselves with Jesus Christ, and if we trust in the Father, then we can count on the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It’s the Lord’s promise.

Because of it we are certain of the Father’s love for us.

Because of it we can leave behind all anxiety, all uncertainty, all distrust.

Because of it we don’t need to worry about our future; we don’t need to try to calculate the state of our relationship with God.

Because of it we can gradually come to want what God wants – to do that commingling, that blending –and to acknowledge in our hearts that good, and nothing but good, comes only from God, only from Our Father.

And friends, the Father is Our Father – not just mine, not just yours, but ours. By the very fact that we are put into relationship with God, as sons and daughters of the Father, we find ourselves in relationship with one another. How could it be otherwise?

Alfred Delp, a Jesuit priest imprisoned and executed by the Nazis during World War II, was made poignantly aware of this. Condemned, kept in solitary confinement, he wrote:
“We never see each other – the whispered words of fellow sufferers and friends are denied us…We have come to the end of all things where man is utterly on his own. And the old truism, it is not good for man to be alone, applies especially to this situation and this dark hour.

“I would so love to shout across to another cliff where a friend sits equally isolated. But the words do not carry…

“But then – we utter OUR Father – and all at once the chasm is spanned.

“Suddenly we see the truth that in God, through God, we have always possessed the shortest route to reach our neighbor…to be at one with all who pray and believe and love.”
You see, brothers and sisters, true Christian prayer is always concerned with something other than ourselves. By its very nature, it is concerned with our God and the welfare of others.

This evening we’ll spend some little time in silent prayer in the presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament – just to thank Him, if only for the gift of life, for the gift of our very existence. But don’t let your prayer linger on yourself. Indeed, when you begin to pray, Evict yourself from your heart and turn it over to the Holy Spirit. For to pray well is always to pray in the Holy Spirit. It’s to turn first to the Spirit, to our friend, our comforter, to ask for His guidance, to ask for His gift of love.

Then we can turn to Jesus in prayer as we would talk to a friend, to a brother, whose help we need. Then we can turn to the Father in prayer as we would to a daddy, to Abba, who loves us.

Jesus tells us to ask everything of the Father, Abba Father, as He calls Him. It means Papa or Daddy. And because we Christians pray to Our Father, we are, by our very words, praying together. In this sense, then, no Christian can pray without all Christians praying.

The Fatherhood of God is among the deepest mysteries of our faith, at the very heart of His revelation. With this revelation, Jesus once again turns our world upside down. He combines awe with intimacy and gives God a name holier than all other names because it reveals the deepest secret of God’s being. It reveals His Fatherhood.

It is as Father that God is holy. It is as Father that He begets, loves, and adopts other children in His one Child, His Son whom He sent to be one of us. Abba – Daddy – is the sweetest word to God’s ear.

Do you see why it especially pleases God, when we approach Him with intimate trust as Our Father? Because by doing so our first movement of the Spirit is to Him and to others, rather than ourselves.

And so our prayer expresses gratitude for having been adopted in Christ, and a desire that all people share in the grace of that adoption:

“Do for others, Lord, what You have done for us by revealing your name to them.”

Can any other prayer please God more?

And remember, it is the Holy Spirit who is the Revealer. It is He who spreads God’s Word throughout the earth, just as God wills.

Let’s take a few moments now this evening to ask God for one thing only. Let’s ask him for nothing more than that perfect gift, the gift of His Holy Spirit. Don’t inundate the Father and Son with words. Just close your eyes and open your heart to the divine presence.

Welcome the Spirit of God. He wants to be with you and within you. Let Him enter into the very depth of your being. For only then can you share Him with others.

Ask for this and nothing more.
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Talk 2: The Holy Spirit and His Gifts
Who exactly is this Holy Spirit who showers us with so many gifts?

Actually, Scripture tells us much about the Holy Spirit. Matthew describes how Jesus sent the early Church into the world with the command to bring all into the Church in the name of the Trinity:
"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" [Mt 28-19].
Paul reminds the Christians of Corinth that they should have a personal relationship, a friendship with the Holy Spirit:
"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all" [2 Cor 13:14].
And Paul instructs the Ephesians that the Spirit permeates the Church, the Body of Christ:
"There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling;  one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all" [Eph 4:4-6].
Paul again teaches the Corinthians of the transformation brought about by the life-giving Spirit, that life in the Spirit frees us from the slavery of sin:

“…but whenever a person turns to the Lord the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit” [2 Cor 3:14-18].
And then, in Chapter 12 of his 1st Letter to the Corinthians, Paul introduces the Spirit’s gifts:
“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one” [1 Cor 12:4-6].
In addition to providing us with this introduction to the gifts of the Spirit, Paul’s also makes sure we all know that there is but one God, one Lord, one Spirit. Yes, God is Trinity and God is One.

Sometimes, in the weakness of our human understanding, I think we slide into a kind of sloppy mental heresy when it comes to the Trinity. We see the three as separate divine persons, which they certainly are, but then we neglect to unite them as they truly are. Our neglect stems from the very mystery of the Trinity itself, a mystery of perfect unity that is far beyond anything we can ever imagine. We see each in our minds, as we see each other, forgetting that they are one.

Recall that wonderful dialog that John relates, that dialog between Philip and Jesus at the Last Supper. Philip says to Jesus, "Lord, show us the Father, and we shall be satisfied."

And Jesus, seemingly exasperated, replies,
"Have I been with you so long, and yet you do not know me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father; how can you say, 'Show us the Father? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father in me; or else believe me for the sake of the works themselves [Jn 14:8-11].
It’s really a wonderful passage because it gives us a glimpse into the unity of the Trinity. You and I can’t say such things about ourselves. I can’t really say, “You are in me and I am in you,” because, well, we’re not. I am me and you are you.

But it’s not the same with the Holy Trinity; they are truly three Persons in One…something far beyond our understanding.

Many years ago, during my years as a consultant, I was hired by a large corporation to provide some training for their international sales force. The training focused on how to deal effectively with the cultural differences they would encounter in various parts of the world. An element of the training, of course, addressed the impact of the various world religions on their respective cultures.

One of the men attending the seminar was a Muslim from Saudi Arabia. And when I began to talk about religious differences, he immediately asked how he, a Muslim, should deal with Christians, who believed in so many gods. “Do you have only three gods, or do you have more than that?” he asked.

I ended up spending the coffee break and the entire lunch hour explaining the basics of Christian theology to him, but even then he didn’t fully believe me. He said he had read some of the New Testament and he was confused because, as he said, “You Christians also have so many Holy Spirits.”

In a way, I can understand his confusion. When it comes to the Holy Spirit, even Christians are sometimes confused because of the symbols through which He is represented to us. The very word itself, “Spirit,” comes from the Hebrew word ruah which means breath or wind, something we encounter in the first verses of Genesis:
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters” [Gen 1:1-2].
In another translation the Spirit is described  “a mighty wind sweeping over the waters.”

Yes, it’s the Spirit that pushes aside the darkness. It’s the Sprit that brings life to the world. And life again is the theme in Isaiah and Ezekiel, and later in John’s Gospel, when the Spirit is described as life-giving, as “living water” flowing from the believer’s heart.

We meet the Spirit as a dove, a symbol of peace and purity, when it descends at the baptism of Jesus, evoking the memory of God’s covenant with Noah, and foreshadowing the New Covenant, a baptism of water and the Spirit.

At Pentecost the Spirit is not only a furious wind blowing through the upper room, but He appears as tongues of purifying fire. As Jesus had already told the disciples: “I came to cast fire upon the earth…” [Lk 12:49].

Throughout Exodus the Spirit manifests Himself as a cloud of glory: on Sinai, in the desert, in the tent of meeting. We see this cloud of the Spirit in the New Testament too when it “overshadows” Mary as she conceives the Son of God; and the cloud is there, too, at the Transfiguration and Ascension. And there are other symbols and signs of the Spirit: oil of anointing and the laying on of hands.

With all these images – breath, wind, water, dove, fire, cloud, oil, hands, gift – we can easily come to think of the Holy Spirit as some mysterious force. And in doing so we can forget that the Holy Spirit is a Person, a divine Person, a Person with whom you and I can have a personal relationship.

Jesus tries to ensure we understand this when he speaks of the Holy Spirit as the Paraclete. Now that’s a wonderful Greek word meaning a helper who is at our side, one who consoles or comforts, one who encourages or uplifts, who intercedes for us…a friend.

Brothers and sisters, the Holy Spirit is no less than your true friend, the friend who cares more for you than any other. He is the friend who sees and dwells within your heart. No one can ever be closer. He is that divine Person who lives within us; He is God’s love poured out for us.

And what of His Gifts?

For those of you who are old enough, a few might remember the Baltimore Catechism’s response:
“The gifts of the Holy Ghost are Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord.”
These gifts are enumerated in Holy Scripture; but, remarkably, we find them in the Old Testament. They’re given to us through the Prophet Isaiah, who in a wonderful Messianic text, prophesies that,
“…a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom” [Is 11:1].
This prophecy, of course, tells of the coming of Jesus the Christ, from the House of David. But Isaiah continues…
“The spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, a spirit of counsel and of strength, a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the LORD” [Is 11:2].
From this prophecy, then, we see that these gifts in their fullness belong to Jesus Christ, the Son of David. And yet they are available to all of us. Indeed, if you turn to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, you’ll see that the Church teaches:
“They complete and perfect the virtues of those who receive them. They make the faithful docile in readily obeying divine inspirations” [CCC 1831].
Did you catch that? “They make the faithful docile…” Interesting word, docile. Are you and I docile when we receive divine inspirations? Do we quietly accept all that God reveals to us? Do we obey the Lord without resistance, without regret, without complaint?

I think perhaps this is something worth praying for. Right now, though, it’s enough to know that the Gifts of the Holy Spirit generate within us this openness to God’s Word, this acceptance, this docility.

These seven gifts are often called the sanctifying gifts because they help perfect the virtues. They are, however, quite different from the charismatic gifts. But all these gifts are visibly present in the Church today. Indeed, they’re present here among us tonight, in this tent of meeting, where God is truly present revealing Himself to us through His Word and His Eucharistic presence.

This revelation of the Spirit’s gifts is also, I believe, caught up in Jesus’ seemingly unreasonable command to “be perfect as your heavenly Father Is perfect” [Mt 5:48]. We can never, of course, achieve the divine perfection of God, the perfection of omniscience and omnipotence, the perfection of divine love. But with the Spirit’s help, we can approach the perfection that Jesus taught in the Beatitudes, for these are indeed attainable with the Spirit’s help,

It’s through the gifts of the Spirit that we can move toward the perfection Jesus calls us to attain. Through these gifts we can come to share in the perfection that exists in the Holy Trinity. Through them we can begin to experience the love that exists in the relationship of Father, Son and Spirit. Through them we can grow in love of neighbor, seeing Jesus in the other.

Pope Paul VI praised, as he called it, this raining down of gifts from the Spirit on the Church in our time. In his words…
“When the Holy Spirit comes, he grants gifts. We already know of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, but He also gives other gifts…called charisms. What is the meaning of “charism”? It means “gift.” It means a grace. They are particular graces given to one person or another, in order to do good. One receives the charism of wisdom and teaches, and another receives the gift of miracles and performs deeds which, through wonder and admiration, call others to the faith…”
What wonderful words from the Vicar of Christ. And if we turn again to Chapter 12 of 1st Corinthians, we find these charisms enumerated by St. Paul. Paul begins by telling us of the Spirit’s greatest gift when he states, “And no one can say, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ except by the Holy Spirit” [1 Cor 12:3].

Do you see what Paul’s telling us? That faith itself is a gift of the Spirit. You and I don’t self-generate our faith in Jesus Christ. It is a gift. And as the Church teaches, faith is a gratuitous gift, free and unwarranted.

What greater gift is there? It’s through faith that salvation comes to us. And what greater declaration of faith is there than to say, “Jesus Christ is Lord”? Without the Spirit, our faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior would be impossible. Without the Spirit, salvation through faith would be beyond us, unattainable. But Paul doesn’t stop there. He goes on by telling us of other gifts:
“To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. [explain] To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are inspired by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills” [1 Cor 12:7-11].
Wow! What marvelous, spectacular gifts. And they are given, not as we will, but as the Spirit wills.

I’ll never forget my first prayer meeting. It was in 1972 in Monterey, California where the Navy had sent me to graduate school. We met in the home of another naval officer and his wife, and I think there were probably about twenty people gathered there. My wife, Diane, former Baptist, former Methodist, former Pentecostal, now Catholic, thought it would be really neat if we went to a Catholic Charismatic prayer meeting.

Now for this cradle Catholic experiencing the manifestation of many of these gifts that evening was very strange indeed. But I came back the next week, and the next, and the next. And I began to read St. Paul from a slightly different perspective.

Before this, I had seen the Holy Spirit as the Person of the Trinity who guided the Church…and so He is. But I saw Him more as the one who kept the pope and the bishops all going in the right direction. Oh, yes, I know…the Spirit is present in all the sacraments, especially in baptism and confirmation, but again I saw all of this as a sort of well-defined construct…as the Spirit extending some kind of mysterious influence over the Church in general.

But Paul, in this same Chapter 12, goes on to say:
“For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body – Jews or Greeks, slaves or free – and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many” [1 Cor 13-14].
It was then I realized these gifts are intended for all of us – not just for the Church in general, but for each individual member. It’s through these gifts that you and I can become the witnesses to our faith that we are called to be. It’s through these gifts that we can defend our faith, that we can defend our Church, with word and deed. It’s through these gifts that the Holy Spirit prods us and guides us in our lives as disciples and witnesses for Jesus Christ.

Remember what the Catechism said about them? They “complete and perfect the virtues of those who receive them.” They complete and perfect virtues, but they‘re not virtues; they’re gifts. Unlike the acquiring of a virtue, which demands some pretty heavy activity on our part, these gifts come to us strictly through the movement of the Holy Spirit.

I once heard a preacher describe virtues as the oars of a boat. To keep the boat moving in the right direction, they require the application of a lot of muscle on our part. He then said the gifts of the Holy Spirit are more like sails. We need only raise the sails in grateful acceptance of the wind and the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest, and move us where He wills. As a Navy man, I always liked that analogy.

It’s important, too, to realize that these gifts, these authentic charisms, are always at the service of the Body of Christ, the Church. If they don’t serve the Body of Christ, they’re not authentic gifts. They’re not given to you by the Spirit simply to serve you; they’re given to serve God by serving His people.

And as gifts of the Holy Spirit, they are supernatural gifts, supernatural graces beyond our power of human striving or human nature. Now some gifts may build on the natural talents of those who receive them, such as the gift of wisdom given to someone who has a talent for teaching. And some are quite extraordinary, like healing and prophecy and the gift of tongues.

Paul also attaches some warnings. In Chapter 13 of 1st Corinthians, he lets us know that the theological virtues of faith, hope and charity have lasting value, that they unite us with God, and are, therefore, essential for salvation. [1 Cor 13]

But the Church teaches that these charisms, these marvelous gifts of the Spirit, are not essential for salvation. Indeed, what Paul found at Corinth also showed that even in the early Church, these charisms could be susceptible to misuse and exaggeration. And echoing Paul in their letters, both Peter and John warn us of this [1 Pet 5:8-9; 1 Jn 4:1]. We mustn’t forget that, and always keep Jesus’ warning in mind:
"Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven" [Mt. 7:21-23].
Praying in the Spirit and exercising the gifts of the Spirit are wonderful things…but if we are not doing the Father’s will in our lives, it all means nothing. And John gets quite specific about discernment of spirits in 1 Jn 4:
“Beloved, Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God” [1 Jn 4:1-2].
Yes, I have certainly encountered some ungodly spirits in my life, as I am sure many of you have.

John doesn’t leave us hanging, but continues by offering a test by which we can discern whether the fruits of a spirit are good or bad. Anyone who denies that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh, John instructs us, does not have the Spirit of God [1 John 4:3].

The Spirit of God would never lead one away from the truth about Christ. And since the Church is founded by Jesus Christ and is an extension of the mystery of the Incarnation, the Spirit of God would never lead one away from the Church or Her teachings. In the same way, the Holy Spirit would never lead one away from the practice of the faith. He would never lead one into immorality, or away from the sacraments or true devotion. Jesus Christ has left us with the means of salvation and His Spirit would never deprive us of them.

And so the Holy Spirit’s activity in the world will always lead toward truth and unity, no matter how remote they might appear. If it leads away from the truth, or if it does not promote unity among Christians, it’s a false spirit.

And remember, too, the Spirit moves wherever He wills. Saints, sinners, even unbelievers on occasion have manifested these gifts of the Spirit. Indeed, the sinful state of a recipient does not in itself indicate a false charism.

It’s always going to be up to us to discern what is good and what isn’t. We’ll go a long way toward accomplishing this is we ask prayerfully: “Is this a credible instance of Holy Spirit’s action? Is it a Spirit incapable of any lie or sin, a Spirit which can only lead people to a deeper faith and unity?” This should do much to protect us from St. Peter’s devil, the roaring lion who prowls about the world seeking souls to devour.

Let’s take a few moments now to pray in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament – in the presence of Jesus Christ, body and blood, soul and divinity.

And let’s turn our prayer to one of praise and thanksgiving, praising God for His goodness and thanking Him for the many gifts to His Body, the Church. And we can ask Him, too, for the Spirit’s continued showering of these gifts, not just for you and me personally, but for the Church and the salvation of the world.
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Talk 3: Sharing the Spirit of Love
Luke the Evangelist loved to describe the work of the Spirit, the gifts and the power He brings to God’s creation. In just the first two chapters of his Gospel Luke never seemed to tire describing the Spirit’s great work of the Incarnation.

Luke begins by telling us how the archangel Gabriel revealed that John the Baptist “will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb” [Lk 1:15]. But Gabriel wasn’t finished. During his subsequent visit to Mary at Nazareth, He told her exactly how the Good News of the Incarnation would be accomplished:
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God” [Lk 1:35].
From this we see how Mary received one of her many titles: Spouse of the Holy Spirit. And Elizabeth, too, doesn’t escape the working of the Holy Spirit, for when Mary arrives at her doorstep, Luke tells us:
“And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the child leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit…” [Lk 1:41]
Later, when Jesus is presented in the Temple, Luke describes Simeon, the holy man to whom God reveals His Son:
“…this man was righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him…and it has been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.” [Lk 2:25].
All that in just the first two chapters. Yes, the Spirit was active indeed as God entered the world as one of us, and He has remained just as active ever since. The Holy Spirit does not rest. The work of the Spirit continued as the Church came into being on the day of Pentecost. Listen to these words:
"Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” [Acts 2:38].
Do you know who said this?

The Pope. That’s tight, the first Pope. St. Peter said these words during that first marvelous homily of his on the day of Pentecost.

Not long before, this big, brave guy had trembled at the words of a servant girl. It was on that night of broken promises, that night of denial, that night of tears. Simon Peter, the callused, sun-burnt fisherman. The man of action, the rough and tumble blue-collar worker of 1st Century Galilee. A man of emotion, full of bluster and passion and swagger – as a Jew would say, full of chutzpah – a man who often spoke and acted without thinking.

He was a seemingly simple, straightforward man. And yet, beneath the surface, a complex man filled with contradictions. A man who readily responded to Jesus' call, but often resisted the message and mission that went with it. A man who spent three years with Jesus listening to a message he didn't really comprehend.  A man whose faith underwent wild swings from deeply fervent to barely lukewarm. A man who could pledge undying loyalty to Jesus one day, then deny Him the next. A man who failed the test as often as he passed it.

And yet this is the man, Simon Peter, this complex mix of human strength and weakness, whom Jesus chose to lead His Church. For it’s Peter who dares to answer the Lord's question at Caesarea, "And you, who do you say that I am?" [Mt 15:15] It’s Peter who accepts and openly proclaims the revelation he has received from the Father, a revelation inspired by the Holy Spirit: "You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God" [Mt 16:16]. And so it’s Peter to whom Jesus then turns and declares: "You are 'Rock,' and on this rock I will build my church" [Mt 16:18].

Commissioned by Jesus, he is first among the Apostles, the first Vicar of Christ, the first Pope, the one chosen to represent the entire church:
"I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" [Mt. 16:19].
The authority and responsibility promised to Peter by these words was probably lost on him at the time. For only later does he begin to understand what will be asked of him.

Recall how, shortly after the Resurrection, Peter and several of the Apostles share a breakfast of loaves and fishes prepared by the Risen Jesus. They’re on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, sitting around a charcoal fire that Jesus had made, a fire similar to the one at which Peter had warmed himself in the high priest's courtyard the night Jesus was arrested.

After they had eaten, Jesus asks Peter to confess his love, not once, but three times, as if to give him a triple chance to atone for his triple denial, to let him recapture what he lost when, overcome by fear, he turned his back on the Lord. For, by now, Peter knows he is weak. So he puts everything into Christ's hands: "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."

And after each declaration of love, Peter is told, "Feed my lambs, feed my sheep." With these words, Jesus' earlier promise is fulfilled. Peter is singled out. He alone is given primacy. He becomes the shepherd of the entire flock, the universal church. And because "the jaws of death shall not prevail against" [Mt 16:18] the Church, Peter's authority has been passed on to his successors down through history to our present day, even until the end of time.

But those weeks between the death of Jesus and Pentecost were a busy, scary time for Peter and his friends. After hiding in upper rooms, after leaving that dangerous city where the salvation of the world had been crucified, after going to the safety of home in Galilee, after all this, Peter returned to Jerusalem where he and the small band of believers, only 120 strong, prayed together for nine days, pleading with God to send them His Spirit.

And, oh, did God answer. He sent His Spirit in a way He’d never done before. “Like a strong driving wind” [Acts 2:2] God’s Spirit filled the house where the disciples had gathered. Tongues of fire descended and “parted and came to rest on each one of them” [Acts 2:3]. Just the beginning of many miraculous happenings that day.

Moments later they rushed into the streets of Jerusalem, into the same streets through which Jesus carried His Cross as He made His way to a place made sacred by His presence, to the place of execution, to Golgotha. And in those streets this tiny band of disciples was led by Peter, the Rock.

Peter preached to men and women from all over the world, for it is a holy day among the Jews, a day when pilgrims have descended on the city. He preached to those who mocked him for his enthusiasm. He preached to those who accused him of drunkenness. He preached and each heard him in his own language. Yes, Peter the coward, the denier, became Peter the courageous.

But he wasn’t alone, for all the disciples, the core of that nascent Church, received the gifts of the Spirit. Do you see the remarkable, divine power of the Holy Spirit? It made new men and women of them. It turned them into brave hearts who would face every kind of human test.

You see, when the Holy Spirit enters into our hearts, He lifts our souls above all the earthly cares, the anxieties, above all the pettiness that so often leads only to sin. He changes us as only God can change us.

Look what He did to Peter. Peter walks right into the crowd. He lifts his voice and speaks with an assurance and courage that can come only from the Spirit. Indeed, Jesus had prophesied this when He told His disciples: “For the holy Spirit will teach you at that moment what you should say” [Lk 12:12]. And on this first Pentecost He certainly gave this power to Peter.

What about the other Apostles? Was there jealousy or envy? Not at all. Because they knew the Spirit distributes His gifts as He wills. The Apostles let Peter speak on behalf of them all, for He was God’s chosen instrument, He was the Rock, and He spread the fire of the Spirit among all who heard him.

And those who heard him that day formed the kernel of the universal Church. This was not some local church, the church of Jerusalem that formed that day. No, those who heard Peter were pilgrims from all over the world. As Luke describes it:
“Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven staying in Jerusalem… We are Parthians, Medes, and Elamites, inhabitants of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the districts of Libya near Cyrene, as well as travelers from Rome, both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs, yet we hear them speaking in our own tongues of the mighty acts of God” [Acts 2:5,9-11].
The Spirit moved quickly too. 3,000 were baptized that day, 3,000 baptized in water and the Spirit. And they then returned to their homes throughout the world. These new Christians, filled with the Spirit, would take with them the seed of a universal Church, a Catholic Church from its very beginnings.

And as Luke tells us, these new Christians “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of the bread and the prayers” [Acts 2:42], and this is exactly what the Church has continued to do for 2,000 years.

At this point, let me once again repeat the Lord’s warning:
"Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven" [Mt. 7:21-23].
And what is the will of the Father? It is to love.

Note, therefore, that Peter’s first act after Pentecost was an act of love, an exercise of the Spirit’s gift of healing at the very gate to the Temple, Yes, this, too, was the Spirit’s doing.  Brothers and sisters, the Holy Spirit is love, perfect love and He always leads us to take God’s love to others.

Gerard Manley Hopkins, the great 19th Century Jesuit poet, frequently corresponded with the poet laureate of England, his friend Robert Bridges. In one of these letters, Bridges, an agnostic, asked Hopkins how he could possibly learn to believe, expecting, I suppose, some deep theological answer. But when Hopkins replied, his letter consisted of only two words: “Give alms.”

What a wonderful answer! Even though it was probably lost on Mr. Bridges. You see, in his own search for truth, a search that ultimately led him to the Catholic Church, Hopkins had learned something that most people never grasp. He was trying to tell his friend that God is experienced most fully in the practice of charity to others. Hopkins was trying to tell Bridges that God is to be experienced in love, in love for the divine image in other human beings.

We must be careful not to get so inside ourselves, not to get so wrapped up in our own needs that we fail to see God in others. For it’s in only in loving others that we recognize and experience the source and being of all love.  Only in loving others can we see in every other person the divine image. Only in loving others can we come face to face with Jesus, and experience the power of the Spirit first hand.

How did Jesus put it?
“…whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do for me.”
But Jesus didn’t stop there, did He? For Jesus tells us not only to give alms, but He takes it a step father – a step that many would think is ridiculous. He exhorts us to go against the grain, to do what doesn’t come naturally – He tells us to give alms in secret.

Now can you imagine such a thing? Being charitable but not telling anyone about it? I mean, what good is that? Not taking any credit for the good we do? No bows, no bouquets, no recognition, no thanks. Why, it’s almost inhuman. Well…actually…it is inhuman, because it’s divine. It’s what the Father wants, and He will repay us.

And so, as we begin journey of repentance, this season in which we anticipate our Easter joy, let’s remember that in giving up we are also called to give. It’s one thing to pray in the Spirit, but it quite another to do the work of the Spirit, the great gift-giver. And real giving is a giving of ourselves, a giving of time, a giving of talent, a giving of our presence to others in need…

…to those who are ill and suffering

…to those who hunger and thirst, not only for food and drink but for the Word of God

…to those who are dying and afraid and need the touch and reassurance of another

The opportunities are all around us, brothers and sisters. The question is: will we respond? Will we be the ambassadors for Christ that Paul says we are? Well, if not us, then who?

As God told His people through the prophet Isaiah:
“This…is what I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke; sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own.

“Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer, you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!”
In other words, as the Prophet Joel calls: “Rend your hearts, not your garments.” [Jl 2:12]

This is our call for Lent. To rend our hearts…to allow the Spirit to tear open the secret places of our hearts so he can be present to us and enable us to share in the great mystery of the Trinity, the very nature of Father, Son and Spirit.

To rend our hearts…to become intimate with the interior places of our hearts, to begin to understand ourselves and our intentions...and our sinfulness. For whom do we live…for ourselves or for God?

To rend our hearts…to open ourselves up to others and their needs because God’s infinite love demands it.

To rend our hearts…to perform great works of righteousness that carry us forward toward the perfection God desires for us.

These acts of religious love must be the fruit of the intimate sharing in the life of the Trinity, an intimacy that comes only through prayer. Perhaps then we can absorb something of God’s gracious concern and continual desire to forgive.

Every day is an opportunity, an opportunity to share in and alleviate the sufferings of others, and an opportunity to be forgiven for so much…

…to learn to forgive others as we hope to be forgiven

…to be cured of our secret pride and hatreds

…to open our hearts to God’s healing presence.

…and to allow the Spirit to enter into our lives and rain His gifts upon us.

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Declining Church in Europe

Despite the remarkable growth of the Catholic Church in Asia and Africa, the Catholic Church in Europe may soon resemble the mere skeleton of a Church, one populated only by a clergy astonished that the pews before them are empty. Their astonishment is quite extraordinary since they are fully responsible for the decline, a decline they try with little success to blame on others, specifically the Vatican.

Two recent articles, one by Fr. Gerald Murray, of the Archdiocese of New York, and another by Fr. Mark Pilon of the Diocese of Arlington, provide a needed glimpse into the moral chaos symptomatic of the sad state of the Catholic Church in Germany and indeed in much of Europe today. As Fr. Pilon warns, when the clergy abandon the Church's moral teaching, Church unity suffers, and the faithful dwindle. Already many of the great churches of Europe have ceased being places of worship and become mere tourist attractions. On our recent trip to England Diane and I entered dozens of Anglican churches, all of them empty, except for us and an occasional docent who happily described the building's glorious past, while sadly telling of the dire need for funds to keep the doors open. The Anglican Church paved the way to perceived superfluity by adopting an anti-dogma of moral ambiguity. When a Church adopts a moral position of "anything goes" everything and everybody goes as well...out the door.

Take a few moments to read both of these brief articles. You can find them here:

Bad news from Deutschland, by Fr. Gerald E. Murray

Germany's "Pay to Pray" Regime, by Fr. Mark A. Pilon

Monday, February 24, 2014

Change and More Change

Change, surprisingly rapid change, seems to define our world today. No aspect of human activity is immune, including religion. Events and movements within religion, however, often fly well below the mainstream media's radar because they are mistakenly believed to be unimportant. I suppose one cannot expect irreligious people to take religion very seriously, although such an attitude displays real ignorance of both human history and human nature. But when religion is discounted by the media and given little intelligent coverage, the general public is shortchanged. Even when the secular media covers religious news, they tend to cover it as they would political news; consequently they usually get the story wrong.  More often, however, religious news is simply ignored.

Here are a few items that reflect some significant changes that may have escaped the notice of most media outlets. 

The Changing Face of Anglicanism. In his blog Fr. Dwight Longenecker gives a brief overview of some of the remarkable changes that have occurred within the diverse Anglican community in recent years. Fr. Longenecker, an American Catholic priest, knows of what he speaks. Brought up in an Evangelical home, he followed an atypical path on his personal religious pilgrimage. A graduate of fundamentalist Bob Jones University, he went on to study theology at Oxford and was subsequently ordained an Anglican priest. After serving many years as an Anglican cleric in England, he and his family converted to Catholicism in 1995. He now lives in South Carolina. You can read Fr. Longenecker's conversion story here.

Growth of Catholicism in Asia and Africa. Few Western Catholics are aware of the rapid growth of the Church in both Asia and Africa. As the faithful in Western Europe shrink to record small levels, their numbers worldwide have grown remarkably. That this growth is unremarked in the U.S. and Europe just highlights the parochialism of many Western Catholics. This growth, though, has been increasingly hard to ignore as more and more priests from Asia and Africa are recruited by our bishops to work as pastors and parochial vicars in American parishes. Not too long ago the Church in America was a major source of missionary priests to the less developed world; now that world sends missionaries to us. Indeed, my pastor is originally from the Philippines and the priest who serves as chaplain in the nearby federal prison, and who lives in our parish, is from Nigeria. Yes, the Catholic Church us truly catholic. (To get a good sense of the growth of the Church in Asia and Africa, read this synopsis of the statistics published in the 2013 Pontifical Yearbook.)


Cardinal Yeom
The Church in South Korea. South Korea is a largely secular Asian nation in which Catholics make up only 11% of the population. But the Church there is growing in both numbers and stature. Pope Francis' recent elevation of Seoul's Archbishop Andrew Yeom Soo-jung as the nation's first cardinal was warmly welcomed by all Koreans as was the Vatican's announcement approving the martyrdom of 124 Koreans who were executed for their faith during the 18th and 19th centuries. We can expect to hear more about these brave men and women as the beatification process continues. I also believe we will be hearing much more about the growing Church in South Korea in the years to come. Just this month 38 new priests were ordained in the Seoul Archdiocese, so don't be surprised if one day a South Korean priest shows up at your parish.

The Disappearing Christians of Iraq. Most of us in the West believe Iraq is a marginally better place since the overthrow and death of Saddam Hussein. But for the Christians of Iraq, those few who remain, nothing could be further from the truth. Few people outside Iraq realize that the nation once boasted an active and vibrant Christian community that represented over 10% of the population and worshiped in hundreds of churches throughout the country. Christians now make up only about 1% of the Iraqi population -- a number that's dwindling rapidly -- and worship in only a few dozen churches. In the spirit of ecumenism, I suggest you read this article published on the website of First Things magazine: The Vicar of Baghdad. It tells the remarkable story of Canon Andrew White, a courageous Anglican priest who ministers to the Christians of Iraq. It's a story you won't read in the New York Times.

Egyptian Catholic Reaction to Our President. Here's another story you won't read in our secular media. Last year during the chaos surrounding the removal from office of President Mohammed Morsi, the Muslim Brotherhood reacted by attacking Christian churches, businesses and homes throughout the nation. Egyptian Christians hadn't suffered such persecution in centuries. In the midst of these open and violent attacks on the nation's Christian community, President Obama called for the to return to power of Morsi and his Muslim Brotherhood allies. In response, Fr. Rafic Antoine Greiche, the head of the Press Office of the Catholic Church in Egypt, released a scathing criticism of President Obama. You can view a video of Fr. Greiche below: 



Don't rely on the mainstream media for news on religious matters, and especially for news on the Catholic Church.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Homily: 7th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Readings: Lev 19:1-2, 17-18; Ps 103; 1 Cor 3:16-23; Mt 5:38-48

Interesting readings, aren’t they? In our first reading from Leviticus, Mosaic Law teaches us: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” [Lev 19:18]. And then in our Gospel passage from Matthew, Jesus, in the midst of His Sermon on the Mount, tells us “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” [Mt 5:44].

Love your neighbor and love your enemy...Gosh, who’s left? Actually, the great G. K. Chesterton once wrote: "We are commanded to love our neighbors and our enemies; they are generally the same people." There’s a lot of truth in that, and loving those we’re with every day can be a bit of a challenge.

As a Christian it’s easy for me to say, “Yes, I love that Jihadist terrorist who’s been led by others, or by a hateful ideology, to do such horrible things over there in Afghanistan, or Syria, or Libya, or even in New York City...” And it’s pretty easy to express Christian love for the murderer on death row. After all, I really don’t really know any of these people, do I? That makes them a lot easier to love.

But when you know someone well, someone who isn’t all that nice, love doesn’t come quite so easy, does it? It’s so much easier to despise someone up close and personal, someone who has treated you abominably, one of those neighbors or family members we so often turn into enemies.

When I was just a boy in suburban New York, we neighborhood kids would often play stick-ball and other games in our street. Now there was one neighbor, Mrs. Counts, whose yard was, well, sort of right field. It was surrounded by a hedge, and the only break in the hedge was the gate that led to her front walk.

Now Mrs. Counts was very old, probably sixty. And whenever a ball would go over that hedge, we’d open the gate and run into her yard to retrieve it. The gate squeaked, a noise that always brought her to the front door, from which she screamed at us for daring to hit a ball onto her lawn. We, of course, retaliated as only children can, by taunting her, calling her names. It was not a good relationship.

To the children of the neighborhood, Mrs. Counts was more than a neighbor; she was the enemy. We neither liked nor loved her. Mrs. Counts was a grumpy old woman, and we were equally grumpy little brats.

Trivial events you may argue, and yet it was through these trivial events that we all demonstrated a remarkable lack of charity. Of course, it’s unlikely that we children ever made a connection between our judgment of Mrs. Counts and the Sermon on the Mount. Indeed it would be decades, in a different neighborhood, this one on Cape Cod, before I made that connection.

One summer afternoon a soccer ball flew over the fence into our yard and rolled onto a patch of Lilies of the Valley. In an instant our neighbor’s two grandsons jumped the fence and ran through the flowers, trampling as they went, to retrieve the ball. I stood there in the yard, watching them, and was about to let them have it with both barrels of indignation, when suddenly I thought, Heavens! I’ve become Mrs. Counts! And so I waved at the two boys. They said, “Hi!”, grabbed their ball, jumped the fence, and were gone.

Yes, every so often, I do what is right in God’s eyes. Every so often I am slapped on one cheek and actually turn the other. You see, brothers and sisters, we’re all called by Jesus, by the Gospel, and every so often we experience the tension arising from our imperfect lives.

The world, of course, tells us to ignore that tension, to fight anger with anger, violence with violence, evil with evil. But deep down we know it’s just a mask to cover our selfishness, to hide our self-righteousness. We want to stand out in our battles with evil, to win, to shine; whereas Jesus instructs us, offer no resistance to one who is evil.

Forget about man's justice, He tells us. Don't worry about just compensation. We’re instead called to overwhelm the wrongdoer with incredible generosity. Love your enemies!

Is that even possible? Well, yes, it is. For that’s exactly what Jesus did as He spread His arms wide on the Cross. He offered no resistance and seemed to allow evil to triumph.

He begged the Father to forgive those who would kill Him, and by doing so set an example that St. Stephen and countless others would follow. This remarkable act, this self-sacrificial act of redemption gives us a glimpse into God's holiness.



Take up your cross, God tells us, Do as I do.

My holiness is loving. It admits no hatred, although it might occasionally reprove.

I don’t seek revenge, and neither should you.

I forgive, and so should you...seventy times seven times.

So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect
[Mt 5:48].

And we reply, in all honesty, "How can we be perfect, Lord? Perfection is what You are, imperfection is what we are."

He knows that. The distance between us and God is infinite. He simply wants us to follow the Son’s example, for His perfection is our model. It’s not the perfection of God’s infinite power and wisdom, the unapproachable divine perfection that we seek. No, such perfection is always beyond us.

But still the command is there: Be perfect!

It’s the perfection of the Beatitudes to which we are called: to be poor in spirit, to hunger and thirst for righteousness, to seek meekness and purity of heart, to be merciful…for these are all attainable. Come to me, he pleads, and I will give you an abundance of grace. I will help you on this remarkable journey of conversion.



That command – "…be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” – is the command of the Son, and so the Son shows us the way. He became one of us, and in doing so shows us what is possible in our own lives.

Yes, we will falter. We will each fall prey to our own brand of sinfulness. But forgiveness is only a moment away, as near as the sacramental grace we receive in reconciliation, as near as our own repentance. And that’s what He asks of us.

Jesus began His public ministry with the words, “Repent, and believe in the Gospel” [Mk 1:15] – for with God repentance always brings forgiveness. Recall the words of today’s responsorial psalm…

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor requite us according to our iniquities…as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” [Ps 103:10, 12].

Yes, brothers and sisters, God forgives, but we must forgive in turn.

In a few moments, as we prepare to receive the Real Presence of Our Lord in Holy Communion, we will join together with Fr. King and recite the Our Father. As we pray those words given to us by the Son, we make that bargain with the Father: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" [Mt 6:12].

Let’s use this moment today to tell the Father that we have indeed forgiven all those neighbors, all those enemies, and all those neighborly enemies who have offended us.

I forgave grumpy Mrs. Counts years ago. I pray only that she forgave me.