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| Ellen Thomas 1949-2020 |
Walter and I, along with about 20 other men, were in the same deacon formation class of the Diocese of Fall River. We were ordained together on May 24, 1997 by then-Bishop Sean O'Malley, who went on to become Cardinal O'Malley, Archbishop of Boston.
Ellen and Walter, Diane and I, and another diaconate formation classmate, Deacon Joe Mador, and his wife, Ann, all made the move to The Villages in Florida. As it turned out we ended up together, at least for a while, at St. Vincent de Paul Parish in Wildwood, Florida.
Today we celebrated a memorial Mass for Ellen at St. Vincent's, and Walter honored me by asking me to preach the homily. The family plans to celebrate Ellen's funeral Mass in Massachusetts within a week or two.
I have included my homily below:
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Readings: Wisdom 3:1-6,9; Psalm 25; 1 Corinthians 15:20-28; John 14:1-6
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Walter, on behalf of Father Peter, our pastor, and Father John, along with our brother deacons, and the entire St. Vincent de Paul Parish community, I extend our deepest condolences to you, and to Kim and Larry, to Eric and Jessica, and to those beautiful grandchildren that Ellen loved so dearly and was so proud of.
To Ellen’s friends who have joined us to support this family, thank you; it is good that you are here today. Thank you for your love and your prayers.
Yes, indeed, Walter, it is good, good and fitting that all of us who love Ellen should come together at this difficult time. I know it’s a difficult time…it’s a sad time because one we love is no longer with us as she once was.
But even though we know she remains with us in spirit, it’s still a time that can generate questions to which we seek answers, answers about life and death.
St. Paul, of course, provides an answer, reminding us that Jesus, through His death and Resurrection, destroyed that final enemy. He destroyed death. But perhaps the best answer is the one we just heard from Jesus:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me” [Jn 14:1].Remarkable words, really, since Jesus said them the night before He died, knowing what would happen the next day. But is He concerned about Himself? No, He’s concerned about His friends: “Do not let your hearts be troubled.”
These are good words for us today as well. And knowing Ellen, as we all do, I think we can hear her saying these same words, for she would not want troubled hearts here today.
“You have faith in God,” Jesus added, “have faith also in me.” Even at difficult times such as this, Jesus tells us, it is our faith that allows our hearts to be untroubled. Yes, it’s all about faith, isn’t it? And because Ellen was a woman of deep faith, she would want our hearts to be joyful. It is our faith that calls us to be joyful. As St. Paul reminds us: because of our faith we do “not grieve like the rest, who have no hope” [1 Thes 4:13].
Do you recall the words of our first reading?
“…they are at peace… their hope full of immortality” [Wis 3:3,4].Ellen, who for years suffered so very much, is indeed at peace, tasting the immortality we all hope to share. And she would want us, those whom she loved so deeply, to be at peace too. I can say this with confidence because, well, I speak from experience.
Diane and I came to know Ellen and Walter well over 25 years ago, when Walter and I, along with Deacon Joe Mador, whom many of you know – began diaconate formation in the Fall River diocese. That formation certainly didn’t exclude the wives of those deacon candidates.
And these good women, doing the work of the Holy Spirit, rejoiced with us through all the joyful times, and pushed and pulled us through the many challenging times.
Believe me, during five years of intensive formation you learn a lot about each other. Secrets are shared, hearts are opened, and despite it all we came to love each other.
Ellen, of course, was easy to love. Smart, strongly independent, she was ever full of laughter and fun.
But more importantly, she was a devoted and loving wife and mother. She and Walter were not two, but one: “Joined at the hip,” she would say.
Her familial love was of the best kind: it was a sacrificial love – a love that gave, expecting nothing in return.
She was also a remarkable friend, and it was a friendship that Diane and I cherished deeply – a friendship that began in Massachusetts and continued here in The Villages. You see, 20 years ago, after Diane and I had made an exploratory visit to The Villages, we happened to mention it to Ellen and Walter. The next thing we knew, they had gone south and bought a home here. They beat us to the punch. It would be another three years before Diane and I became Villagers.
How can we forget her Cinco de Mayo birthday celebrations at local Mexican restaurants, always including a margherita or two?
And to be Ellen’s friend, it really helped if you were a Red Sox and Patriots fan. Believe me, she gave new meaning to the word fan, which in her case truly is short for fanatic. You can imagine how difficult this past year was for her.
But Ellen’s fervor for those teams was just symptomatic of the enthusiasm she brought to so many aspects of her life. And along with that enthusiasm came remarkable organizational skills. Whether organizing a cruise for her friends or planning parties or dinners for playoff games or holidays, it was Ellen who pulled it all together. Our lives would have been boring and lackluster without Ellen to draw us out of our shells.
I could go on and on, but I know she’s listening, and it would embarrass her. So, let me just say that we love her dearly. She will remain always in a very special place in our hearts.
To Ellen’s family, I can only encourage you to keep her spirit alive, to tell the stories, the stories that bring laughter and those that bring tears, to pass them on from one generation to the next. Those future generations won’t have known Ellen, but because of you, they will come to appreciate all that she did for this family and will love her as well.
But it’s also important for us to remember that this Mass, although a memorial for Ellen, remains primarily an act of worship, but worship in the form of thanksgiving. You see, today we thank our loving, merciful God for Ellen Louise Thomas. We thank Him for the gift of this woman’s unique, unrepeatable life, a life you and I were privileged not only to witness, but also to share.
But more importantly, as Christians, whenever we gather in prayer, we thank our God for the gift of His Son, Who gave His life for us. For without that gift, we would have no hope…no hope of forgiveness, no hope of mercy, no hope of salvation, no hope of eternal life.
It’s because of this gift that we can gather here today and not be consumed by grief.
It’s because of this gift that we can go on with our own lives secure in the knowledge that Ellen, and you, and I, that we have all been redeemed by our Lord Jesus Christ.
Resting in the embrace of our loving God, Ellen now holds this truth in the very depths of her being.
St. Paul said it best:
“We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and place us with you in his presence” [2 Cor 4:14].
And who is this Jesus? Well, He told us, didn’t He?
This is what we celebrate here today: the Good News of Jesus Christ.“I am the way, and the truth, and the life” [Jn 14:6].The Way – nothing less than our Christian faith – the Truth, why that’s the Good News of Jesus Christ, and the life is everlasting life. It’s the understanding that we’re here for a purpose: to do God’s will so that we may spend an eternal life of happiness with Him – that eternal life Ellen is just now beginning to experience. For God has put Ellen’s suffering behind her, and we thank Him for that.
…the Good News that lies at the very core of our faith
…the Good News that tells us the Father loves us so intensely He sent His only Son to become one of us
…so intensely He allowed His Son to die for our sins, for the sins of those who put Him to death
…so intensely that through His redeeming death and Resurrection He gave us the gift of eternal life.
This is what we celebrate today. We celebrate the reality of the Good News for Ellen and for us.
We’re here to give Ellen to the Father, to thank God for her life, and to ask the Father to grant her a new life, a life far greater than the one she shared with us, an eternal life of happiness.
Praised be Jesus Christ!
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