Life and Death and Love and Hope

John McCarthy enjoying a fine cigar

Yesterday, July 24, would have been my father's 102nd birthday. Born in 1909 he died in 2005 at the age of 95, a long life by any standard. He was a far better father than I believe he thought he was, but I suspect that's probably true of many of us. So often we focus only on our mistakes and forget about all the good things -- the love, the example, and the hope -- we were able to share with our children. Life in a truly Christian family is always a story of shared faith, of mutual love and forgiveness, a story of godly virtues so often rising above the human failings; and such was the story of our family. Dad was a very happy man who thoroughly enjoyed the gift of his life and the lives of those he loved and those who loved him. And yet he had another gift, the gift of tears, an outward sign of his empathy for the plight of others, an empathy realized in remarkable generosity. I was, in many ways, formed by my father and I owe him a debt I will never be able to repay, and that's as it should be. John Joseph McCarthy, resquiescat in pace.

Nap time: Dad (93) & Pedro (1) in July 2002

Yesterday, however, was yesterday, the past. But today is our first step into the future because it's also the 10th birthday of our eldest grandson, Pedro. Talking about it today Diane and I both remarked how clearly we remembered that day a decade ago and the anxiety we experienced as we waited for him to be born. Since then we have been blessed with seven more wonderful grandchildren who never cease to astonish us with their intelligence and their goodness. One thing I have discovered is that the arrival of grandchildren has brought about a change in me. Oh, life is still full of anticipation and surprises, but everything else pales when placed alongside the grandchildren. My great hope now is to live long enough to experience them as young adults. What a blessing that would be!

Barbara & Pete in 2005

And yet in between these family comings and goings, our lives are graciously touched by many others and we are saddened when they are taken from us. On Saturday we received news of the death of a close friend who had suffered for many years with MS. Although she and her husband had moved to a rural (very rural) part of Georgia, we were able to visit them on a couple of occasions in recent years. It was wonderful to see how Barbara dealt with her affliction with real courage and amazing grace. Watching her reminded me of something Flannery O'Connor once wrote in reference to the many years she suffered from Lupus, the disease that would ultimately take her life:

"I have never been anywhere but sick. In a sense sickness is a place, more instructive than a long trip to Europe, and it's always a place where there's no company, where nobody can follow. Sickness before death is a very appropriate thing and I think those who don't have it miss one of God's mercies." The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O'Connor, p. 163.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Barbara and her husband once lived in Milledgeville, GA, the same town where Flannery O'Connor lived most of her too-short life.

We will miss you, Barbara Christian, resquiescat in pace.

Happy Birthdays and more...

Today is my father's 100th birthday. John McCarthy, born July 24, 1909, almost made it all the way but returned to the Father a few years short of the century mark, dying at the age of 95. (My mom, Martha Cavanaugh McCarthy, who would have turned 100 a month ago on June 28, died in 1977.)

Mom and Dad enjoying a beer in the 50s

For some reason, this quiet celebration of my parents' 100th birthdays is a bit of a shock to my system. When you realize your parents would be 100, you know you're getting old. But I'll shove that thought onto a back burner, and focus instead on my dad.

Dad giving a speech in the 1960s

John McCarthy was a remarkable man whose accomplishments could have filled multiple lifetimes. He was so many things: a self-made, self-educated expert in sales, marketing and management; an author of highly acclaimed books on these same subjects; and a successful businessman and entrepreneur in a number of industries.

Dad with Governor John Volpe

He was a member of the "greatest generation" who served his country with distinction in World War II and beyond (he retied as a colonel in the Army Reserve); a teacher who trained and motivated tens of thousands of business people; a public speaker who delivered thousands of speeches to business, civic, governmental and political groups for over 40 years; a public servant who, during his tenure in state government, brought a rare honesty and accountability to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. But more importantly he was a man of deep faith, whose generosity knew no bounds, and a loving husband and father. And throughout that long, distinguished career he had the loving support of two remarkable women: my mom, Martha, and Dad's second wife, Barbara.

We all miss him. Dad and Barbara on their 25th Anniversary

Happy Birthday, Dad. Rest in peace.

Coincidentally, tomorrow, July 25, is the birthday of John McCarthy's eldest great grandchild, Pedro Santa Ana. Young Pedro, a genius among his eight-year-old contemporaries, already shows signs of being made of the same right stuff as his great grandfather. Happy Birthday, Pedro.

Dad (93) and Pedro (1) chillin' in 2002

Catholic Charities backs Obama Health Plan

The head of Catholic Charities USA, Fr. Larry Snyder, has in effect come out in favor of President Obama's health care reform plan. In a letter sent to legislators, Father Snyder, although he does not specifically mention the president's plan, clearly shows support for the reforms it advocates. Unfortunately, he does not mention the pro-abortion elements of the president's plan, despite the fact that Catholic pro life organizations are working hard to get those elements removed. Read more here.

It reminds me of a meeting I had with a diocesan Catholic Charities director a few years ago. She was waxing eloquently about our then US representative and his strong support for comprehensive immigration reform. "We're really fortunate to have him as our congressman," she told me. When I reminded her that he had a 100% pro-abortion voting record, she responded by saying, "Oh, yes, I guess we'll have to talk to him about that."

One step forward, two steps backward...