Rules for Young People Considering Marriage

Dr. Anthony Esolen, a Professor of Renaissance English Literature at Providence College, is a true renaissance man. His translations of Dante -- Inferno, Paradise and Purgatory -- are among the best in a very crowded field. He's a senior editor at Touchstone, a wonderful publication that I regularly recommend to Christians of all denominational stripes. He's also the author of a number of books that populate my humble home library, including, The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization and Ironies of Faith.

I had a few conversations with Dr. Esolen years ago when I worked for Providence College and was trying to get a corporate training center up and running. As I recall he was a newly arrived English professor. I remember thinking, Now here's a very bright and likable young man, a man of strong faith and common sense. I had no doubt that he would go on to good things as he made his mark in the academic world. Since then he's done all this and more because, unlike many very intelligent folks, he also writes extremely well, and has a robust sense of humor.

I recently came across something he wrote back in 2008 that deserves much wider distribution, especially to young people who are considering marriage. He calls them "Esolen's Rules." Devised by him and his wife, they are aimed at helping people decide whom they should (and should not) marry. I'll include just a few here, but I suggest you go directly to the source and read them all...

1. Don't marry a woman who likes cats but does not like dogs.  You may marry a woman who doesn't like either, or whose reason for not liking dogs is that one of them bit her when she was a toddler.  But a woman who likes cats but does not like dogs will be a Joan Crawford or Jane Wyman.  Ronald Reagan married Jane Wyman, and look how sorry he was about that.
2. Don't marry a man who is neater than you are.  You may, however, marry a man who polishes his tools and puts them away after use....
3. Don't marry anybody, man or woman, who says, "I'm going to call you at eight," and then leaves you waiting by the phone for an hour.  Exceptions can be made for people who are kidnapped by Arabs, or who have epileptic seizures.
4. Don't marry anybody who insists on a separate bank account, bed, bathroom, vacation, or zip code.  It makes no sense to be one flesh and two wallets.
5. Don't marry a woman who spends more on makeup than she does on food.  In general, don't marry a woman who engages in the sin of reverse gluttony.

Click here to read the rest: Esolen's Rules. There are 15 more.

Oh, yes, his latest book, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child, has received wonderful reviews from people I trust who recommend it highly for parents.