The occasional, often ill-considered thoughts of a Roman Catholic permanent deacon who is ever grateful to God for his existence. Despite the strangeness we encounter in this life, all the suffering we witness and endure, being is good, so good I am sometimes unable to contain my joy. Deo gratias!


Although I am an ordained deacon of the Catholic Church, the opinions expressed in this blog are my personal opinions. In offering these personal opinions I am not acting as a representative of the Church or any Church organization.

Thursday, October 1, 2020

COVID-19 Bible Study Reflection #17: Faith, Doubt, Fear and Divine Mercy

Today, I hope to address the gift of faith, while touching on the doubts and fears that attack those who do not fully accept this gift from God. That’s right, brothers and sisters, faith is a gift – as the theologian would say, a gratuitous gift. You and I neither deserve it, nor can we work to achieve it. It’s not something we can conjure up on our own. Instead it’s something God offers us in the divine hope that we will accept it.

I’ll begin today by turning to the Gospel according to John, where the evangelist recounts the first post-Resurrection appearance of Jesus to the disciples. Listen to God’s Word and read these verses from John, chapter 20, verses 19 to 31:

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So, the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside, and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name. [John 20:19-31]

It’s really a remarkable passage, isn’t it? In fact, there’s so much there, I suppose we could spend the rest of our lives plumbing its depths. But today all we can do is scratch the surface, and hope that by doing so, we can deepen our faith, cast aside the doubts, and relieve the fears.

Our Gospel passage relates an event that takes place in the evening of that first Easter Sunday, when the Risen Jesus appears to the Apostles in the upper room.

They’d hidden there since Friday’s crucifixion. Told of the empty tomb by Mary Magdalene, Peter and John had gone to see for themselves. John claims he “saw and believed,” but followed this by admitting he and Peter really didn’t understand the Resurrection …at least not yet.

Then Mary told them of her personal encounter with the Risen Lord; but did they really believe her? We know they doubted, and we know, too, they were afraid. Indeed, fear kept them hidden behind the locked doors of the upper room. One suspects their faith was weak, plagued by those same doubts and fears.

But then, despite locked doors, despite doubts and fears, Jesus is there, standing in their midst. He is alive! And he speaks to them:

“Peace be with you” [Jn 20:19].

He shows them the marks, the nail marks, the gash in his side, the wounds He suffered for their salvation and the salvation of the world. And, yes, they rejoice in His presence, even though they don’t yet understand how this all came to be.

Again, he greets them,

“Peace be with you,” but then He adds, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you” [Jn 20:21].

His words, though, are a mystery. Sent? Sent where? Sent when? Sent to do what? They don’t know. All that will come later.

But Jesus isn’t quite finished with them this evening. He has more to do and to say.

He breathes on them, and they feel it, the breath of His mouth, coming from His Risen Body. Yes, He is certainly alive, for dead men don’t breathe. And as He breathed, He says,

“Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” [Jn 20:22-23].

Once more, they’re lost in His words. Did He just say we’ll be forgiving sins? How does that work? All this sending out and forgiving of sins…for now it remains a mystery. And so, in joy they focus only on what they can see, the living, Risen Jesus. And with that He leaves them, just as He had arrived.

It seems, however, one Apostle, Thomas, wasn’t there. Where was he? We don’t know. John never tells us. But just imagine how Thomas felt when the others told him,

“We have seen the Lord” [Jn 20:25].

Did he simply disbelieve what they told him? Or was he angry with Jesus for coming when he wasn’t there? Perhaps he wondered why Jesus came when he, and only he was absent. We don’t know because John doesn’t tell us that either. All he tells us is what Thomas said:

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” [Jn 20:25].

With these words, Thomas secures the title we hear so often: doubting Thomas. His words, after all, were hard words from a man who had spent three years with Jesus. For three years Thomas had witnessed the miracles, had seen hundreds healed of every illness, had even seen the dead brought back to life. Yes, for three years Thomas had been in the presence of “the Christ, the Son of the living God” [Mt 16:16]. But Jesus gives him another week to think about it. For Thomas, it must have been a long week. What did he do as he waited? John, of course, tells us nothing, but we can guess.

Once again, it’s Sunday, the Lord’s Day of the New Covenant, the Second Sunday of Easter, the day we celebrate as Divine Mercy Sunday. The Apostles are still locked in the upper room, still afraid, and likely still troubled by doubts. But this time all eleven are there. Thomas is with them.

Once again, Jesus stands in their midst, and once again, He says,

“Peace be with you” [Jn 20:26].

But then He turns to Thomas and says,

“Put your finger here and see my hands and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe” [Jn 20:27].

Does Thomas reach out and touch those wounds? John doesn’t tell us, but I don’t believe he did. For there was no need. He can see the wounds with his eyes. And he can feel the shame, the guilt, overflowing in his heart. Like the women who ran from the empty tomb the week before, Thomas, too, was surely “fearful yet overjoyed” [Mt 28:8]. But in the face of Our Lord, Thomas sees only love, forgiveness, and divine mercy.

He answers with five words, making a perfect act of faith:

“My Lord and my God!” [Jn 20:28]

Yes, doubting Thomas is now believing Thomas, the apostle who later died a martyr for the faith he expressed that Second Sunday of Easter. He became a messenger, an Apostle of Mercy, a missionary to India where he shed his blood for his Lord and his God. Like his brother Apostles, like you and I, like all the baptized, Thomas was sent.

John uses this encounter between Apostle and Lord to break open in the Gospel account the implications of the bodily Resurrection of Jesus, a profoundly important aspect of our Christian faith. Jesus, who stands before the Apostles, is no ghost, no ethereal apparition [Lk 24:37]. The Risen Jesus is the Living Jesus. His body bears His wounds. He speaks. He breathes. He lets Himself be touched [Lk 24:39]. He eats with them [Lk 24:43] He is alive, glorified, but alive.

These first two meetings between Jesus and the Apostles are actually deeply Eucharistic. Jesus comes to them, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, in communion, and they receive Him in a shared communion with each other. It’s a renewal of the communion of the Last Supper, celebrated here in that same upper room, the first Christian Church, on the Lord’s Day.

And today, millions of us all around the world, utter those same faith-filled words of Thomas when faced with Jesus’ Eucharistic Real Presence at the elevation during Mass: “My Lord and my God!” [Jn 20:28].

Pope St Gregory the Great (590-604), preached a marvelous homily on this encounter between Thomas and the Risen Lord. He tells us it’s good to remember that there are no coincidences with God. It was not by chance that Thomas was absent on that first Sunday. He returned, he heard, he doubted, Jesus returned, Thomas saw, even touched, and he believed. All happened according to God’s plan. The wound of Thomas’ disbelief was healed by the wounds of Our Lord’s Living, Risen Body. Thomas, then, becomes the witness to the reality of the Resurrection.

Before He leaves the Apostles on this Second Sunday, Jesus leaves Thomas with a kind reminder of his doubts, but then addresses you and me:

“Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

That’s us, brothers and sisters. We’re the non-seers who believe. As such we are called to bring the risen Christ to others. Like the Apostles, we are invited to become living witnesses in our own day to the reality of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

On that first Divine Mercy Sunday, Thomas confronted the wounds of his beloved Savior so they could heal the wounds of our own disbelief. Let us then approach the throne of Mercy and cry out with Thomas:

"My Lord and My God" [Jn 20:28].

Those who do will be forever changed, just as the Apostles were changed. But the Resurrection was so utterly miraculous that even after being with the risen Jesus, many disciples still harbored doubts. As Matthew described their last meeting with Jesus right before His Ascension:

"The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them. When they saw Him, they worshipped, but they doubted" [Mt 28:16-17].

“…they doubted.” It would take the Holy Spirit to cure them of their doubts, which He did 10 days later on that first Pentecost Sunday. And what a difference He made.

Just consider Peter, who became a messenger of mercy. He was so filled with the Spirit of the Risen Lord that Jesus could continue His redemptive mission through him, accomplishing miraculous deeds. In the Acts of the Apostles we read that even the shadow of Peter brought merciful healing [Acts 5:15].

John, the “beloved disciple” and evangelist, was imprisoned on the Island of Patmos. There he would continue to receive the consoling and liberating mercy of the Savior. There the Spirit inspired him to write these words of the vision he had received:

“Do not be afraid. I am the first and the last, the one who lives. Once I was dead, but now I am alive forever and ever. I hold the keys to death and the netherworld” [Rev 1:17-18].

And then there was Thomas. Jesus turned Thomas’ doubt into an event of Mercy for generations to come. Out of the repentance born from seeing Mercy Incarnate and the wounds of His Divine love, came that response, those wonderful words that have formed the most profound of personal prayers for centuries: “My Lord and My God”

Pope St Gregory was so right, “Thomas’ doubt healed the wounds of all of our doubts”

At the Liturgy of Canonization for Sister Mary Faustina Kowalski, on Sunday, April 30, 2000, the Pope St. John Paul II proclaimed:

“…Jesus shows his hands and his side. He points, that is, to the wounds of the Passion, especially the wound in his heart, the source from which flows the great wave of mercy poured out on humanity. From that heart Sister Faustina Kowalska, the blessed whom from now on we will call a saint, will see two rays of light shining from that heart and illuminating the world: ‘The two rays,’ Jesus himself explained to her one day, ‘represent blood and water’ …Divine Mercy reaches human beings through the heart of Christ crucified.”

Contemplating Jesus’ sufferings, you and I, then, are faced with a question. How do we take Christ’s Divine Mercy to others? How do we respond to the sufferings of our neighbors? Do their sufferings fill our hearts as well. For that’s what compassion truly means: to “suffer with.” As St. Faustina wrote, “I would like all their sorrows to fall upon me, in order to relieve my neighbor."

God places each of us, each uniquely created individual, in a certain time, in a certain place, and with certain gifts, and does so for a certain reason. We cannot choose our time and place, only what we do with the time given to us. But of one thing we can be certain: each of us is called to be a messenger of His Divine Mercy, an instrument of the peace of Christ in our own little corner of the world.

Jesus also told St. Faustina that, “Humanity will not find peace until it turns trustfully to Divine Mercy."


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